Heard the one about the grammar joke?

With our 11 year son about to take his primary school SAT tests, grammar’s no laughing matter in our house at the moment.

My poor boy is trying to remember the difference between active and passive,  work out what a subordinating conjunction is and master the use of the past progressive tense.

So to cheer up any parents in the same position, here are seven grammar jokes. Please feel free to share them with any other small children who aren’t looking forward to the tests either.

1.       The past, the present and the future went to the pub.  It was tense.

2.       The pub was walked into by the passive voice.

3.       A comma splice went to a restaurant, it had fish and chips and a glass of lemonade.

4.       My English teacher asked me to name two pronouns. I said, “Who, me?”

5.       She texted me “Your adorable”. I replied “No. YOU’RE adorable”. Now she thinks I like her, and I was only correcting her grammar.

6.       “Let’s eat grandma.  I mean, let’s eat, grandma”. Punctuation saves lives and avoids family feuds

7.       The door is alarmed. (And the wall is surprised. And the floor is somewhat taken aback).